Stupid Bird

I have been working night shifts this week, and I awoke this afternoon from my slumber to the sound of flapping wings inside my house.

Thanks for crapping all over the house

Fantastic.

First off, I have no idea how this bird got into the house. All of the doors and windows were closed. But to much amusement, I watched it try to get out the back glass door for about a minute.

Then I was over it. I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep so I opened the door and tried to get it to fly away. But it stayed on top of the paintings for a few minutes and refused to go anywhere near the back door of freedom.

Then he decides to fly into the kitchen and chill there for a few minutes.

This is the bird being stupid in my kitchen

This is the bird being stupid about flying out

This is the stupid bird leaving after about ten minutes of being stupid.

Kitchen Complete

My kitchen is finally complete!

Here is what it looked like before

Here is what it looked like at week one.

The seven weeks that I was unable to use my kitchen was immensely painful. For someone who loves cooking, it was more painful than indian burns, or plucked nose hairs, or wedgies, or charlie horses, or forehead flicks, or arm pinches, or a kick in the groin. Okay definitely not as bad as a kick in the groin but you get what I’m saying…

While my kitchen was out of commission, I ate out almost every day. I had tons of Ono Hawaiian BBQ, In-N-Out, Rubios, In-N-Out, Chipotle, In-N-Out, In-N-Out, In-N-Out, Panda Express, In-N-Out, Subway, In-N-Out, In-N-Out, Chick-fil-A, In-N-Out and some more In-N-Out. While I could not cook anything for myself, I had an extremely well balanced In-N-Out diet and washed that down with tons of neapolitan shakes.

Surprisingly, I only gained 3-4 LBS during this dark time of my life.

Here are some pictures of what a kitchen mold mitigation/remodel looks like when mold decides to invade the cabinets underneath the sink:

Sucking the mold spores

A project that was supposed to take 2-3 weeks ended up taking 7 weeks. The contractor that my insurance set me up with was pretty horrible too. The entire time he was trying to screw me over telling me that they did extra work, needed to change things, denying that they broke my front screen door, said they did work when they really did not do it, and tried to hit me up with extra costs.

After seeing how cute his attempts were to overcharge me the first couple of weeks, I got sick and tired and finally revealed to him that I work in construction and that I have been taking pictures of their progress on a daily basis. Then I flooded him with emails and pictures and showed him why he was wrong (and I copied his boss on the emails too). And for some odd reason he stopped picking up my phone calls and only communicated to me through email. I guess he chickened out but in the end I did not have to pay any extra money for all their screw ups.

Looking back, I realized how much fun I really had dealing with this guy…Not.

I guess a ton of BBQ and dinner parties are on the schedule for the rest of summer.

Until next time, Cheers!

Kitchen Mold

Thanks mold

The new kitchen is currently being rebuilt. Stay tuned for updates.

Tenant Love

There has been recent developments in my rental property lately, and that development is basically that my tenants are moving out on June 1.

…and I am most likely moving back into my awesome condo.

Some details are still up in the air but I would really like to move back into the condo that I love so much.

Here’s a picture of what I left behind:

If you can’t tell… I like stripes.

My condo was a bank-owned dump when I got it and I tore it up from top to bottom and recreated this female-friendly environment you see above.

Anyway, I stopped by a few nights ago to discuss the sequence of what needs to happen from now until June 1 in terms of repairs, walk-throughs and whatever. But I had a very interesting interaction with the female tenant while I was there.

The only prior info you need to know for the story is that the reason for the move out is because the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship going on between my tenants ended around Christmas time. How they managed to continue living together for many months after the breakup…has me baffled but it’s none of my business and I could care less.

Anyway, I showed up in the evening after work:

Female: Hi Johnny!
Johnny: Hi, how is everything?
Female: Good!

She walked towards me and I could tell she was moving in for a hug but I decided to keep it business and extended my hand for a handshake instead.

Female: Wow you cut your hair shorter! You look very good!
Johnny: Oh, why thank you haha…

I may have said Oh, why thank you haha… but my mind was thinking okay she seems very friendly right now. Whatever.

We start talking and as I am walking through her old bedroom she closes the door behind her. Oh boy. It is just me and her alone in the room together.

Female: So… we’re moving out. Are you moving in?
Johnny: I’d like to but I think I have someone maybe lined up and interested in moving in (I didn’t want to tell her that I was possibly going to move in)
Female: Well if you do move in, are you looking for roommates?
Johnny: What do you mean?
Female: Well I found a new place but your condo is a really really nice place to live…

Oh I see where this is going… warning!

Johnny: Oh, yeah. Well, I’m not sure about anything right now. I’m more focused on taking care of you guys moving out first. Then I’ll worry about whoever moves in afterwards.
Female: Okay that sounds good.

What on earth is going on?

We walked into the hallway and I opened the laundry closet to inspect the washer and dryer.

Johnny: I missed these. They were brand new when you guys moved in and they worked really well.
Female: Yeah! I’m going to miss these too.
Johnny: Haha yeah, just don’t steal them when you move out!
Female: Haha maybe…oh yeah I’ve got to tell you about the new place that I found! It’s so nice! It a one bedroom that has its own washer and dryer inside the actual unit! I can just do my laundry without going outside!
Johnny: Wow that’s really nice. Yeah you don’t want to be using those community washers…those are pretty gross
Female: I know. I got really lucky to find this place. Do you know the cross streets C___ and G___?
Johnny: Yea, my friend lives right there.
Female: I live right there. The place is called ___ just at C___ and G___. You should come over sometime. If you’re ever in the area, you should stop by and see my place…
Johnny: Oh okay. Thanks for the invite.
Female: Yeah. In fact, I’m having a mini-housewarming party in a couple of weekends and you should come over and…you know… it will be fun. You can meet all of my friends. I mean, it would be a really good time and you will have a lot of fun.
Johnny: Okay, yeah that would be great.

What. On. Earth?

I remember thinking I have no idea what I am doing right now to turn you onto me like this… and I am pretty sure I was not wearing any Johnny Armani.

As I was leaving…

Johnny: Okay well, everything looks good. If you guys have any questions, feel free to call or email or text. You know how to get in touch with me.
Female: Okay, I definitely will.
Johnny: Great. And if I don’t hear from you, I’ll see you guys in a few weeks for the final walk-through.
Female: Sounds good. Bye!

She turned her body towards me and slightly moved closer. She was moving in for a hug again! I quickly stuck my hand out and shook her hand. I remember it was a really low handshake because I wanted her to know I was reaching for her hand and eliminate altogether the risk of jabbing her boobs with my fingers.

When I got into my car and closed the door. I started laughing hysterically. Why do these things always happen to me? Haha…

And for good ol’ times sake, here are a few before and after shots of my condo.

Master Closet:

Before: crap
After: custom self-built closet of radical shelving

Living Room:

Before: Empty living room…no paint, no floor, no happiness

After: Accent wall and hallway, very comfy furniture

Bedroom 2:

Before: Ugly yellow paint, no floors

After: Grey (with hint of green) paint, new floors and base moulding, lots of zen

Fireplace:

Before: crap

After: Tiled-hearth, faded-brick facade, custom self-built surround and mantle

Anyway, if you can’t tell…I’m pretty excited to move back in.

Uberwhelmed

This word comes from the combomixing of two great words: uber and overwhelmed.

A lot has been going on the past couple weeks and that is exactly how I feel. Uberwhelmed. I haven’t exactly had great access to the internet as one of my computers is packed up and waiting for the next craigslist buyer to step in and take it. But anyway, here’s the lengthy update:

1. I sold a lot more stuff and am still cutting down my clothes to give away. From my last update, I sold my longboard, kayak, xbox, another bookshelf, some mirrors, a table, digital camera and a few other items. While some items were tougher to sell than others but I can honestly say that I am definitely not missing any of these items right now. It’s good to have a peace about what I’m doing and letting go of these possessions that I thought were uber-important (obviously from the combomix of uber and important). Also, some other people who help out at the homeless ministry have started bringing clothes to hand out which is great to see other people taking the same initiative too.

2. I helped lead worship at The Rock church down in Point Loma a couple Sundays ago. I was unsure whether or not to actually do it as I had so much going on but in the end I figured that it was a rare opportunity. I figured that life is always going to be busy so you might as well do the things you enjoy, especially if it’s jamming with a good friends of yours. In the end it was a really gnarly experience and they do such a great job of being hospitable to their guest musicians. It was also the first time I played five services in one day! I don’t even think the words coming out of my mouth were making sense anymore towards the end of the day.

3. Okay so this is the biggest update. Let’s jump straight to it… I got my condo rented out and the tenants moved in yesterday. Seriously, a couple weeks back I prayed for tenants and the next day a girl showed up to look at my place and ended up being the right fit. It was uber-ridiculous because I felt like God seriously that was way too fast…I’m not even completely moved out yet! But it was a good motivator to get my stuff out and finish my fireplace remodel. It’s really exciting to see God moving in a powerful way. I really have no other explanation for it other than God confirming that what I’m doing is part of His plans for me. It blows my mind how God has always come through for me in times of need. Totally rad dude.

I grouted the tile and finally built the mantle and surround

4. So because of the whole God’s rapid-timing-of-tenants situation thing… it forced me into a rapid move-all-my-junk-home situation. And this is where I can get in some trouble. Mother, who is anal retentive about cleanliness and order, is currently out of town and comes home in three days just in time for Thanksgiving and a house full of my crap. I have three days to determine my fate and how much nagging will occur the night of her return. This is what my parent’s normally clean house looks like right now:

This is the messy bedroom which mom will probably uber-nag me to death for ten minutes (please ignore my the teddy bear bedsheets…)

The living room filth where my mom will ask me where people will sit when they come over for Thanksgiving

The kitchen pileup where my mom will probably bust out the this is why you don’t have a girlfriend because you are so messy card. An uber low-blow. But at least she won’t be like my friend Fernanda in college when she grabbed a skillet and smacked me in the head on accident purpose.

Well, that’s the update. I’m still trying to cut down my items to 100. It’s getting tougher now that I’m getting closer and really having to think about what I really need and choosing between certain items. Maybe I’ll talk more about that in my next post.

Until next time. Cheers.

Update: Momzilla comes home in one hour and there has been absolutely zero improvement on the clutter situation. Let’s hope this is not my last blog update ever. Until next time. *Gulp*

Simplify My Life

This is an aside from the type of post that I usually write. There’s so much to post that I don’t even know where to begin but I know quite a few of my friends have already been asking me about this … so I’ll try my best to explain.

The past month, I’ve been focusing a lot on what else I can do to upgrade my condo. And I guess to jump to the meat of what I’m trying to say is, as much as I have enjoyed living in my condo, I realize that it has consumed me and ensnared me to a money spending pattern that I really dislike. After a lot of contemplation, I’ve decided to rent my entire condo out and move out. There are many reasons that I am doing this and I hope to explain them in a way that makes sense.

1. Money. I hate money. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. I hate dealing with large amounts of money over and over again. I don’t mind paying bills, rent, mortgage, etc., but that on top of needing to buy this and that for the home is too much stress. I’m always wondering if I have enough money to buy an extra thing or two and I just don’t like to deal with it. That’s just part one.

2. Money/Giving. Part two of this money issue is that I haven’t been able to give as much as I like. I enjoy supporting the church I go to, donating money to the organization I volunteer at that helps feed the homeless, taking friends out to dinner and paying for their meals, taking my family out to dinner, etc. I’ve noticed that these activities are starting to dwindle because I’m so focused on setting money aside for my condo upgrading.

3. Excessiveness. A couple weeks ago I was walking around my condo and saw many things that I never ever use (or need) anymore. Jump to later on in the week when I’m helping to feed the homeless and only a few of the regular larger group of them show up because it’s raining. I have ten extra jackets at home staying warm and being useless right now. Where is everybody? Are they able to stay dry and warm this week? Do I really need this much stuff that I never use anyway?

4. Splurge. You remember at the end of Napoleon Dynamite where his brother sings that song about loving technology…? That’s me. I am very weak-willed when it comes to buying the next coolest gadget (unless it’s an Apple product but that’s a different story). On top of that, I’ve realized that owning the condo always keeps me thinking of what else I need to buy next…like it owns me. These two forces keep pulling at me to invest more money into upgrading my life with stuff and I’m just over it. Maybe it’s just to make me feel good about myself… I duno

Do you see where I am going with this?

I’m not saying that owning things is bad. I think that it’s a great privilege and blessing to be able to work hard and make money to buy things that you want. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it  and I’m not bashing that at all. I personally find fulfillment and joy when I can use my money in a way that can help other people, and I simply have not been able to do that as freely as I would like in the past few months. Do you have enough money after you give to pay for your bills, mortgage, etc…this month? I hate the thought of being limited or unable to give when I have an opportunity to help someone out.

Now with this in mind, I’m thinking of ways I can put myself in a position to give again. This means renting out my condo and simplifying my life. I have been doing an inventory of the things I need and don’t need and will try to donate, sell or trash all the things I don’t truly need. I’m not doing this out of guilt (although point #3 above may suggest otherwise), but rather out of motivation. I want to get back into a lifestyle where I can give freely. I’m also not doing this to punish myself, but rather to start forming better spending habits that will hopefully stick with me for a long time.

My goal is that once January 1, 2011 rolls around, I will only own 100 items. I have already started selling all of my condo furniture including the super comfortable blue couch, shelves, a few rugs, and yes, even my own bed. There’s still a ways to go to get down to 100 items but I still have a couple months. I have a long journey ahead of me that might get painful at times but I think it will be worth it in the end.

Let me know what you think. I had three friends already call me telling me that I’m crazy (and they were serious). I can assure you that I am not crazy. I promise. (I hope).

I’ll have an update this weekend and post some pictures up of all the stuff that I will be giving away or donating.

Update:
Hilarity and irony always surround my life. A buddy pointed out that if you go to the bottom of each post it says, “Written by jonewantsm3.” Yes, M3 as in BMW M3. What’s wrong with me!?

Looking For A Roommate

I’ve been listing my condo on craigslist to find a potential roommate to move in with me. I must say that there is definitely a lot more effort, commitment, and emotional energy that goes into this whole process than I would have imagined. Not only do I need to find decent pictures of the place, I have to type an ad that is informative and yet stands out among thousands of other listings.

Who doesn’t want to live here?

I went to work typing up my ad trying to be as informative as possible regarding the room size, location, and benefits to living in this condo. Then I jumped into providing honest and accurate information of who I was, what I did, and what I enjoyed doing in my free time. The last bit was expressing to my reading audience the type of person I was looking to live with. Done. Happy with my quick work, I scrolled up to the beginning of my listing and reread what I had typed. By the time I finished, my satisfaction was replaced with a what the heck is this?…

…it sounded as if  I was trying to type up an online dating profile. Whatever. After a short scan-and-edit, I decided to keep “enjoys walking on the beach and late night talks” in my description.

The responses came flooding in.

I got tons of responses from guys and girls equally. I’m here to share with you some of the ridiculous responses I’ve received from these applicants.

1. The 18 year old girl.
She emailed saying my place looks “cool” and that “needs to get away from her parents. uggghhhh” so she wants to move out. Instant delete. I’ve heard of those child predator hidden camera shows… I’m not that stupid.

2. Old woman with cat.
What did you not understand when you read, “no pets allowed” ? And I’m not going to live with a woman who is old enough to be my mother if she had me when she was 20. She also offered to do housework or anything that could help alleviate the cost of rent.  Can you swing a hammer and cut moulding with a table saw? If so, I may reconsider your application. But not really.

Old woman… do you know how to tile a fireplace…?

3. Really interested but not really
This guy came over to see the condo and was extremely fidgety/uneasy the entire time. It was kind of one of those he was too scared to tell me something type of moments and when I asked him at the end, “well, what do you think of the condo?” he replies, “hmm… it’s nice…but I’m not really looking to move anywhere right now.” What!? I asked him, “okay so why did you want to check out the place then?” He responded with, “uh, yea…I don’t really know.” Are you kidding me son? Get out of my house…

4. Mother looking for her 24 year old son.
This lady barely speaks any English but I understand that she’s looking for a place for her son. I also find out that she and her son currently live ten minutes away and she’s looking for a place for her son that’s closer to his work. Well, where does your son work? Oh, he works three minutes away back in your direction. Yeah lady, that’s called commuting to work, sorry. Click.

5. Fat girl.
I didn’t even respond.

6. Just kidding about the fat girl in #5.
There wasn’t any fat girl who emailed (how would I know?) But if there was one…am I messed up if I really did that? Or am I just being smart to not waste my time?

7. Two 24 year old French chicks studying abroad
No my place is not close to PB. Is that okay? Oh, you’re not interested anymore? Dammit!

8. Girl who enjoys laughing.
She emailed saying that she does not have a steady job but really loves my place. She also really enjoys movies and laughing. Well, I’m sorry… as much as I enjoy laughing too, I enjoy rent money even more.

As much as I enjoy reading these emails and meeting interesting people, I do have a couple of legit candidates for moving in. As the floods of ridiculous emails still come in, my friend suggested that I start messing with them. The next time someone emails me and I think they’re wasting my time, I’m going to reply with one of the following:

1. “Can you cook, clean and give killer massages? If so, please reply back.”

2. “Are you okay with a clothing-is-optional policy that I have in my house?”

3. “Hi, a/s/l? Do you have a picture? Sincerely, 26/Yes/San Diego”

4. “Hi, I looked you up on facebook. Which one are you in your profile picture? Sincerely, Not a creeper”

 

Update 10/12/10:
I received the following email this morning from a crazy woman. Their email contains the following information:

“I don’t have time for wild, drunken orgies and am easy to get along with.”

I cannot tell you how tempted I am to email back and mess with this person. Oh wait, I already did…

Absolute Mayhem

A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a good friend who happened to mention in our little conversation that my life was very interesting. It seems as if I always find myself in weird and curious situations or strange things simply just happen to me every once in a while which makes my life very exciting. I don’t know whether I agree to this statement or not, but yesterday was definitely one of those days which my friend would consider as ‘exciting’. I consider it mayhem. Things happened that didn’t make sense. Things happened that when I told people they didn’t believe me. Things happened that I cried. Just kidding… but I shoulda coulda woulda… but real men don’t cry.

This could be the worst day of my life (or at least from what I can remember). There has not been this weird of a day…a day so full of misfortune for a very long time but to tell the complete story, I must first recap the weekend.

Epic south swell rolled in, some say best of the year. I did not even get into the water… why? Here’s why:

Weekend facts:
– Friday night 6-9pm I ran errands
– Friday night 9pm-4am I painted the bathroom
– Saturday 10am-6pm I painted furniture
– Saturday 7pm-11pm I moved all my stuff over from my parents house and unpacked it all
– Sunday 7am-12pm I helped with worship
– Sunday 12pm-5pm I helped my sister move into college
– Sunday 5pm-9pm I cleaned the house

I literally had no time for myself this past weekend. I was killing myself to prepare for the pre-housewarming and friend’s going away dinner this upcoming Saturday. I went to sleep Sunday night thinking this next week would be less stressful on me since I accomplished so much on the weekend. Foolishness…here we go:

Monday September 20, 2010. The worst day of my life.

2:00AM
A loud crash woke me up. It sounded like a car drove through my wall/window and smashed into the other side of my shaking walls. I heard glass shattering for about four seconds and heard it spread all over the floor of my bedroom. What the heck is going on? I peek through the darkness to see what that was.

“Um… where is my wall shelf?” Yes. I said that out loud to myself.

Yes, the stupid shelf fell off the wall. Along with over 200 CDs, some glass sporting awards I received, my high school football helmet and other stuff. I looked over the edge of my bed to see broken CD covers, glass, and music CDs covering the floor. I felt glass on top of my bed sheets and thought how on earth was I going to get up in the morning without cutting my feet up? I laid there in disbelief for about 20 minutes and then said screw it and went back to sleep.

5:15AM
The alarm goes off…time for work. My mind immediately goes back to how I’m going to get out of bed without getting cut by glass. I somehow manage to grab a book nearby and stand on it, then I tip-toed over to the bathroom to turn on the light. The damage was immense. Imagine if you will that I detonated a grenade in my room. Now you know what it looked like. I literally stood there over a minute just zoned out at the destruction of CDs, glass, and other junk laying on the floor. I looked down to see my Weezer Green Album lying naked by itself next to my foot. Dammit. Can’t do anything now… got to get ready for work and look forward to this mess when I get home tonight.

5:30AM
I’m heating up water for some green tea and decide that I needed to start the day with a quick pick-me-up. I felt so weak from the weekend and somehow managed to look up the Bible verses Psalm 46:1-3. These verses would prevent me from suicidal thoughts later on in the day.

5:35AM
I get into the company vehicle and see the “Trip A” odometer reads “187.0”. The second worst three number combo after triple sixes. As I drive off down the road I realize that my speedometer reads 0 mph. Perfect. I don’t even know how fast I’ll be driving the entire way to work. Am I going to die today? All signs are pointing to an epic day of failure. I make a phone call to one of our mechanics and he tells me that I need to drop the car off at the main office before heading to my jobsite.

6:30AM
After driving for about an hour, I hit crazy congested traffic on the freeway about 1 mile from my exit. I never hit traffic this early something must have happened. I just passed the previous off-ramp so I have to sit through this one. I see three ambulances driving ahead towards what I’m assuming to be an accident. Cop cars pass by. A fire truck shows up too. I can’t see what’s going on, but maybe this will be a good time to relax and listen to some music to burn away the morning misfortunes.

7:30AM
Okay. Ridiculous. Relaxation time is over!…I’ve barely moved 100 feet! I can’t see what’s going on and I really need to go to work.

7:45AM
As we pass the accident, stupid-driver-with-crappy-camera-phone in front of me suddenly halts to a near stop just to snap a picture of the overturned trailer with their phone. Breathe in. I hate rubberneckers with a passion. Breathe out. Get to work. As I speed past the car at a blazing 0 mph, my suspicions were correct all along. Woman.

8:00AM
I get to the main yard and pick up my temporary company vehicle. We do a key swap and I immediately jump back on the road to the jobsite. Good, quick, easy, brainless exchange. I like it.

8:30AM
I finally get to work. The stuff I have to do is piled up from two weeks of vacation time. Throughout the day I’m extremely sleepy from my lack of rest and cannot concentrate on work as my mind is focused on the millions of glass shards lying on my bedroom floor.

We jump to after work.

5:00PM
Closing time! I leave work and drive home with feel good tunes to keep my spirits high. I think to myself that it’s not going to be that bad. I should be able to get everything cleaned up tonight. This morning may have been crazy but I’m not going to let circumstances around me dictate how I feel, or so I thought.

6:15PM
I pull up to my street and park the car. I grab my bag and think positive thoughts as I walk towards my front door. As I walk by the mailbox I realized that I haven’t grabbed the mail in a few days so I reached down to my keys and…wait, my mail key was on the key ring when I swapped cars this morning. And my house key was with those keys as well! Great. I am locked out of my house. Oh my heavens. Now picture me standing in the middle of the parking area with my eyes closed and head tilted back letting out the longest, most sorrow groan ever…because that’s exactly what I did. So this is how it’s going to be. Well, I’ll at least go around back to humor myself and check if I left any windows open that I can jump through. In the back of my mind I already knew that everything wass locked up but I went anyway.

6:18PM
I called my dad as I walked around the back. I asked my parents if they have a spare key at their house that they can drop off. He says that they’re in downtown and cannot make it home until 7:30PM and then they can drop off my key around 8:00PM. Screw that. Knowing my parents, you usually add one hour to their time estimate. I can’t sit around doing nothing and wait for them while I…

SPLASH

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” I am covered in wetness, dirt, fertilizer and whatever my neighbor lady decided to dump off the side of her balcony onto the grass below. But instead of landing on the grass below, it landed perfectly on my head. I look up to see her with her hands covering her mouth, eyes super wide and muttering all these apologies under her breath. She apologizes non-stop and right away offers to bake me some cookies. I am half-laughing/crying/pitying myself (yes that’s right. Three halves) and tell her I’d rather have her help me break into my house than bake me cookies right now. She took me seriously and tells her husband who decides to come down to help me break into my house.

6:20PM
Her husband comes down and tries to help me break into my condo. “I have tools that you can use to disassemble your door to get in if you need it.” Why on earth would I want to disassemble my door? We then walk to the window. “I have a knife that I can use to break into this window if you need me to do that. I’ll go grab it.” Um…do I really live next to this psycho? I politely decline his offer and decide to head to my parents house.

7:15PM
I grab dinner at a place near my parents’ house and decide to sit down and eat while I wait for them to get back from downtown. After I order my food, I sit down to see that there is a dad hanging out with his son talking baseball behind me.  Across the way there’s a mother and daughter enjoying a nice dinner together and a young family in the corner with the mother helping feed the little girls. In front of me there’s a young couple laughing and having a good time. I look next to me and there’s this pathetic looking guy sitting by himself with a stained shirt covered with dirt. Oh wait, that’s a mirror reflecting  my loneliness and sorrow. I quickly gobble down my food, throw my trash away and leave.

7:25PM
I pick up my keys. My mom asks if I am hungry and throws a bag of apples into my car as I pull away. What and why? As I am driving home, I remember my mom telling me she didn’t have a spare key to my condo but all of a sudden she has one. Hmm, very curious…

7:50PM
I finally get home and walk to my bedroom. I stare at the heap of CDs and glass. I simply cannot believe at the mess I’m looking at. I literally stand there for minutes.

7:54PM
I finally muster enough strength to peel my eyes away from viewing the horrendous mess and start cleaning. I got lots of work ahead of me. Move all the books and items to another room after brushing them off for glass. Salvage all the undamaged CDs and throw away all of the rest. Sweep up the tiny glass particles and throw away all my glass memories. Shattered.

10:45PM
I finished cleaning and decided to check my fantasy football team to see how I did this week. As a final kick to my sack, I realize that Shaun Ellis’ sack against Tom Brady didn’t show up in the stats and I was not getting any credit for the play. Sacks are worth four points. I lost by two points. I’m losing every single battle today.

11:00PM
I jump into the shower and wash dirt and fertilizer out of my hair.

11:10PM
As I lay in the guest bed, I realized that I should be happy to be alive today. For example, the water that my neighbor dumped over her balcony could’ve easily been a spider she caught. Fortunately, the verses I read this morning definitely kept me from suicidal tendencies throughout the day and I was just happy to be laying in bed after a fresh shower.

The End.

Master Bedroom Closet

I spent the past weekend building a master bedroom closet system for my very naked green reach in closet area. A lot of time went into the planning and research because quite honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. The most difficult process was figuring out exactly what I wanted without seeming too feminine. After telling a lady at church about my closet project, she gave me a confused look and asked, “Since when do men care about a nice closet system?” My witty response was, “…ha…ha yea I know right..?” duuurr

Anyway, here we go:

This is the plan. Yes, I need a lot of space for all the junk I’ve accumulated over the years. Lacrosse, lacrosse and more lacrosse junk…

I made a quick painter’s tape layout the night before just to make sure everything was legit. I didn’t want to have areas that I could not reach into. I also wanted to designate a spot for my dirty laundry hamper thing…

End of Day One Stats:
Motivation Level: 10/10
Confidence Level: 9/10
Injuries: 0

The next morning I went to Home Depot to pick up all my building materials. Lots of pre-made shelving that weight a ton and 1″x2″,3″ studs for the wall cleats. The thought running through my mind over and over while driving home was is my wall really going to hold all of this weight!?? I got home, walked to the back of my car and it suddenly dawned on me. What on earth am I getting myself into!?

End of Morning Stats:
Motivation Level: eh…4/10?
Confidence Level: 1/10
Injuries: 1 (smashed my finger between the heavy shelvings while I was loading them onto the cart)

I started nailing the cleats into the wall for the top shelf. I left a 3/4″ gap where the vertical panels would go.

Then I cut the shelf cleats (okay…dude I don’t even know if they’re referred to as ‘cleats’ but thats what I’m going to call them from now on) to be equal lengths. After I put the first one on the wall, I marked where the stud was located on the other pieces. This would save me time from using the stud finder everytime I wanted to nail them onto the wall. Make sense? Yes. Moving on. What you get is a lot of saved time and the pictures below:

I then put the top shelf onto the cleats. I tried nailing the shelf down in the back and although that was fine, I quickly went with the drill. I drilled a small pilot hole (1/8″) and then screwed in the nails with the drill which was what I should have done from the beginning. Standing on a ladder and reaching far in the back to hammer a nail was just awkward and it was a lot easier to handle the tight corners with a drill.

The vertical panels go in next to support the top shelf. An important note: Make sure the bottom cleats are 3/4″ longer on each side. The panels will rest on these supports as you drill in the anchor screws from the top shelf and the side panels into the cleats.

After this point, I felt like a pro for some reason. Stupid confident amateur.

Early Afternoon Stats:
Motivation Level: 10/10
Confidence Leve: 11/10
Injuries: 1 (I found I cut my hand somewhere along this process, but was probably too excited to notice)

The rest of the process is just cutting and securing the panels. Here are some pictures for the rest of Day One:

At the end of day one, I only had the shelving panels left to attach but I kept that portion for tomorrow. I didn’t want to bother my neighbors with cutting, drilling and loud noises so I called it a night.

The next day was fairly easy with the shelves. I cut a bunch of them to length, and attached them from the side panels with screws. Took me only a couple hours.

I used some old closet rods for the clothes hanging area. I did not want to get to where I was cutting metal because I have never done it before. I laid out the area by measuring the length of my existing rod and adding 1/2″ to account for the brackets.

I added a nice little carpet to the area for now and I’m done!…for now

I still have two other rods to install and half a closet to caulk. Once I get the job completed, I’ll post pictures of the final product.

Until next time…thanks for stopping by. Stay classy San Diego.

Home Update: Living Room Finished

I finished the living room area this weekend along with a bunch of other tasks such as putting curtain rods up in the master bedroom. I realized that my progress has recently slowed due to the fact that I finally having a place to chill and relax… and me chilling and relaxing too much. Also, the fact that summer has finally arrived in San Diego in the month of August does not help either… overcrowded weekend surfing is still good to me.

Here are some pictures of what I’ve been up to:

Adding the quarter round along the kitchen floor is nearly complete

Installed a shoe storage unit and mirror in the entry way

All my beautiful shoes that I don’t wear

In my bedroom there is a weird corner where two windows meet very closely. I had the hardest time thinking of how I should put the curtain rods in there because the ends in the corner would bump each other. I tried looking online everywhere but finally decided to Mickey-Mouse something and hoped that it looked good.

Here is the awkward window setup but I really shouldn’t complain though. On the weekends, I really enjoy the sun coming up over those mountains to wake me up in the mornings. It far outweighs my lack of privacy when my neighbors see me sleeping, changing or walking out of my shower naked.

I purchased this elbow connector from Bed Bath & Beyond

I installed only three curtain brackets and connected the two wooden rods

I hung the rods on the brackets to see where I should make cuts and then installed the ends

It looks clean and I can finally block out the world when I go to sleep at night. I also had a discussion with a friend this weekend about all my curtain rods being white. While I agree that I want a darker color, I just don’t know what color to get yet so which is why I bought white so I can paint over it. But for now, it’s good.

I also set up the living room and my awesome mini-home theater:

Hanging the TV on the wall. 52 inches of awesome now hangs on my wall thanks to a super cheap monoprice.com TV bracket ($19)

I spent about an hour setting up the power cables, wires and using ties to organize them all in an orderly fashion. I finally hooked up my dad’s old sound system which is more than sufficient for such a small place like mine.

Apparently I can check fantasy football scores and watch YouTube videos directly from my TV

I am very excited that things are coming together rather nicely and finishing up many of the last items. I’ve got to come up with a punchlist of things to complete and just get after it… such as the fireplace that I have been avoiding forever. I also have to stop building surf racks and installing stuff on my car like so:

Before: Beast

After: Sexy Beast