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Chinese Food Review

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I recently had lunch at a Chinese restaurant that I’ve never been to.

When I invited my boss he declined and added the snide comment, “how typical.” Oh. I forgot that I must like Asian food because I’m Asian. Not because the fact that I really enjoy anything sweet and sour or kung pao-y or sesame walnutted on my food…

Well, to be fair to my boss when we arrived at the Chinese restaurant this is what we saw:

How stereotypical indeed…

The restaurant was in a rail car!

I thought it was cool at first, until I realized how uncomfortable it was. And muggy. And narrow. And dirty. Just like Asia.

The Oriental Express

When the waiter came around to take my order and I said, “I would like to have this please,” he said, “no you don’t.”

I looked at him and asked, “I don’t?”

He says, “no, you want this one. Trust me.”

Then he winked and smiled.

I smiled and replied, “that one sounds great, I’ll have that thank you.”

As he walked away, I looked across the table to my white coworker who was giving me this what-the-hell-just-happened look. I explained to him that there are good items on the menu and then there are Asian stuff on the menu and usually at Chinese restaurants, the waiter will advise the Chinese people of the Asian stuff on the menu.

He asked me about the wink and I told him it was a sign of trust and communication.

Unspoken communication like…

“Spicy short ribs meat is one week old do not order it”

“That item tastes like panda ass but we keep it on the menu because round eyes like ordering and eating it.”

“That chicken dish is not 100% chicken dish…”

You get what I’m saying?

Needless to say, when our order finally showed up, mine tasted bomb while my coworkers looked like, well, panda ass.

I give this place a 5 chopstick rating. I will be back soon.


Written by jonewantsm3

May 8, 2013 at 1:00 am

Posted in Reviews

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