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Banana Slicer

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Black Friday and Cyber Mondays have passed. I keep hearing friends and coworkers bragging about the deals they were able to get and the cool new gadgets and items they have in their possessions now.

Well, they I don’t hear anybody bragging about probably the best thing they could have bought.

The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer.

How can this banana slicer be anything important or deal worthy you may ask? Well, just read the reviews and find out how many lives it has already changed.

Here’s some for your convenience:

No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!, March 3, 2011
By SW3K – See all my reviews

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I’ll call it South Side Story.

Banana slicer…thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.

Saved my marriage, July 30, 2012
By Mrs Toledo (Greeley, CO) – See all my reviews

What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone…. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices. It’s one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old “I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?” and of course, “You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!” These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That’s when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!

Wow. These are incredible testimonies.

I don’t know about you, but I already know what I want in my stocking this Christmas.


Written by jonewantsm3

November 27, 2012 at 1:00 am

Posted in Rant

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