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Bappy Hirthday Sister

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Today is the birthday of Sister Sideburns.

She does not have any sideburns but she’s still cool sometimes. And even though she is a little sister, growing up I always treated her like my little brother.

The picture on the left is when she was still extremely young and throwing up on everything and everybody.

The picture on the right is when she was three and a half and playing the part of my sidekick as we ran around shooting each other and other family members with cap guns. We got in trouble (more like I got in trouble) and my dad took a picture of us so that I could look back in the future and see how ridiculous it is to teach a girl to play with guns. My impending punishment was the reason for me not smiling but my sister still managed to pose for the picture.

One of my favorite stories of my sister:

She used to love butter. So very very much. It was gross. And sugar. She used to walk around the house with a spoon full of sugar or butter and lick it like a candy pop and…uuggggggh… nevermind.

Today, we’ll focus on the butter.

So our family took a trip to Disney World when we were a lot younger. My sister was about 4 years old at the time. It was lunchtime and my sister being the loving, sharing person she is, went and got a ton of those butter packets for the toast in our bread basket. She then proceeded to open a bunch of them and started taking butter shots…one after the other.

Every time she took a shot, she would look at me or another family member and say things like, “mmm!!! so good!” or “mmm!!! try it!” or “mmm!!! butter!!” Disgusting.

Then she climbed onto my lap and was like “Johnny try it! Mmm! It’s good Johnny!! Try it!!”

Being the loving older brother you see in the left picture above, I replied…Heck No! That’s so disgusting! You have to stop that! It’s bad for you…

But she kept going. She’d take another shot in front of me. And say things like “see?? It’s good Johnny! C’mon try it! It’s good!”

After her many failed attempts, she ran to my mom to offer her butter shots. My mom, immediately took a shot with my sister and said “mmm!! so good!” and went back to eating like nothing had happened…yea, went back to eating like she did not just put a fat glob of butter in her mouth. What the heck is wrong with the females in my family? I had to look away.

And I did.

In fact, I turned away and looked straight at a white family sitting at the table next to us staring at my sister in wide eye disbelief. They all had stopped eating and were just looking at this butter monster of a kid who was well on her way to a heart attack at the young age of 4. I stared at them for a while too because they had no idea I was looking at their reaction. After about thirty seconds of staring at my sister, the teenage girl in their family muttered outloud, “that is so disgusting…”

And that is the end of my sisters butter story.

Today she has reached an age where she has finally realized that taking butter shots is probably not the healthiest choice of food intake.

But to me she’s still like the awesome kid in the picture below:


Good days

Happy Birthday to my sister!

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Written by jonewantsm3

August 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

Posted in Rant

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