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Chatting With My Old Roommate

with 2 comments

I recently had an online chat session with an old college roommate that I haven’t talked to in some time. The conversation that took place has been copied and pasted below without editing for your enjoyment:

Eliott: omg they’re playing your old fav song at this cafe
Eliott: its uh, im open and you’re closed
Eliott: forgot what its called
Johnny: howie day – collide
Eliott: oh yeaaaah
Johnny: not my fav song. just good
Eliott: hahah close enoughhh
Johnny: what are you doing at the cafe. studying?
Eliott: yeah. DJ’s here too but at a diff table
Eliott: tables are too small here lol
Eliott: well, i havne’t started studying yet
Eliott: im just sitting here being sad cause my retarded aquarium cleaner got a rock or something stuck between it (it has a magnet for outside and a magnet inside, and oyu move the one outside around to clean the inside) and it scratched up my aqarium pretty badly
Eliott: i didnt realize until it was too late
Johnny: what are you talking about
Eliott: my aquarium got scratched uppppppppppppp T______T
Eliott: hrm did i ever tell you i was doing one lol

Eliott: theres a few fish hiding in that picture but see that thing on the side?
Eliott: the blueish thing
Eliott: STUPID THING
Eliott: scratched up the front
Johnny: nope
Johnny: why are you starting an acquarium?
Eliott: i wanted to then gave up on the idea but then my parent’s friend brought back one from a garage sale one day
Eliott: so yeah
Johnny: no girlfriend so you went fishes instead?
Eliott: yeah they make me feel needed
Johnny: LOL
Johnny: they can’t escape…
Eliott: they all rush there when i feed them
Eliott: hard to appreciate their beauty now that when i look i just see this DUMB SCRATCH and its like spiraly circular right across the center and everything
Eliott: so madddddddddd
Johnny: hahahahaha
Johnny: i cant see the scratch
Eliott: oh, thats an old picture
Eliott: here let me upload one i took today

…7 minutes go by…

Eliott: gah this bluetooth thing for windows 7 is bizarre
Johnny: ?
Eliott: dont know why its not taking my file im trying to send from my phone to my netbook
Eliott: i know i’ve done it before on my mac i just connect them and browse
Eliott: here i dont see any browse thing so im trying to just send the file from the phone instead of taking it frmo the phone
Eliott: im connected, but to “media audio” bizarre
Johnny: life is complicated at times i guess
Eliott: sucks
Eliott: if i only i had my usb cable that makes things easy lol
Eliott: forget bluetooth time to see how bad my phone’s upload is
Eliott: just ognna use gmail lol
Eliott: i think my netbook is dying the trackpad doesnt work sometimes
Eliott: ok i emailed it to you
Eliott: look at it and weeeeep

Ah. I can definitely see the scratches.

But I see a better opportunity to mess with my friend…

Johnny: cant see it
Eliott: really???
Eliott: its so hideous
Eliott: rightr in the center
Eliott: you dont see all those lines?
Eliott: oh
Eliott: i didnt resize the pic
Eliott: prob too hard tosee if you dontj fit to browser
Eliott: but i assume you’re using chrome so it hsould do it automatically
Johnny: where
Johnny: its full screen
Eliott: sw of the fish and south of the fish
Eliott: its like everywhere
Eliott: or just look at the black tube it goes across it SEVERAL TIMES ugh
Johnny: SW of the fish?
Johnny: oh like lower left
Eliott: southwest lol
Johnny: let me see it hold on
Johnny: I see your reflection
Eliott: what
Johnny: wait
Johnny: and some smudges but no scratch
Eliott: i can barely see my reflection
Eliott: in front of hte black tube!
Johnny: is it that thing
Johnny: the long straight line?
Eliott: it crosses it several times
Eliott: if it the long straight line that curves all over the place then yeah
Johnny: well if it curves its not straight
Johnny: did it kill your fish? where are your fish
Eliott: hahah
Johnny: unless you have a rock acquarium
Eliott: this picture is way zoomed in so only one is in the picture
Eliott: man you really dont see it?
Eliott: its so obvious to me it hurts
Johnny: oh i see the fish
Johnny: but thats not waht you’re talking about huh
Eliott: nope
Eliott: well the scratch goes above the fish too
Johnny: i think thats the reflection
Johnny: the big white splotch
Eliott: nono
Eliott: here
Eliott: let me get out my paint
Johnny: ok

…3 minutes go by…

Eliott: ok that should be pretty obvious now haha

Johnny: bro thats like the rocks
Johnny: unless you’re drawing a red face
Eliott: WAT
Eliott: how do you not see the lines lol
Johnny: i see the lines
Johnny: the one you just drew are red
Eliott: _
Johnny: the red face
Eliott: lol
Eliott: not thoseee
Eliott: the arrows in the middle
Eliott: you dont see what they’re pointing too?
Johnny: the rocks?
Johnny: the pink rock
Eliott: noo the ones on the black tube
Johnny: ooh they’re pointing to the black tube?
Eliott: no but its easiest to see the scratches
Eliott: the ones that are in front ofh te tube
Johnny: maybe you need a better camera
Eliott: man do i have to trace the scratches
Eliott: that ruins the point though
Eliott: then you cna’t see the scratches
Eliott: cause i’ve covered them
Johnny: maybe you need better ms paint skills
Eliott: mine are prob better than yours
Eliott: i bet if we have a competition ill win
Johnny: no way i’m the king of ms paint
Johnny: you’ve never seen my masterpieces?
Eliott: nope
Johnny: you dont want to see it
Johnny: people cry sometimes because it brings out deep hidden emotions
Eliott: all the more reason to
Eliott: i grew up on ms paint man
Johnny: i dont want to make you cry in public
Eliott: LOL
Eliott: man i was laughing and someone wlked by and i looked up
Eliott: and she was like wat.
Eliott: cause i was still laughing when il ooked up
Eliott: i put my head down relaly fast LOL
Johnny: was she cute?
Johnny: get her phone number
Eliott: i dont know i looked down really fast too embarassed
Eliott: all your fault
Eliott: now you must show me your ms paint
Johnny: wait a second
Johnny: not my fault to get you to meet girls
Johnny: you should be thanking me yooou ingrate
Johnny: get her number go order another drink
Eliott: i couldve looked up without luahging
Eliott: and smling like an idiot
Johnny: stop smiling like an idiot then and smile like a handsome confident man
Eliott: thats why you gotta mke me cry
Johnny: you don’t want to cry in front of girls whats wrong with you

…5 minutes go by…

Eliott: oh man i’ve wasted a lot of time i hsould study
Eliott: got a quiz tomorrow lol
Johnny: what
Johnny: how dare you
Johnny: talking to me is not a waste of time
Johnny: screw studying go talk to that chick
Eliott: i dont even know what she looks like
Eliott: thats how fast i looked down
Johnny: you should be like “yo baby”
Johnny: “want to check out my acquarium?”
Eliott: i think i will stare at dna structures
Johnny: it makes you instantly irresistable to women if you lock eyes with them
Eliott: oh i see
Johnny: but you know whats even funnier
Eliott: wat
Johnny: the fact that you believed that i couldnt see the scratch
Eliott: oh i suspected that
Eliott: since my arrows weren’t anywhere near the rocks
Johnny: hahahaha
Eliott: anyways isnt that a disaster
Eliott: those lines
Johnny: what lines?
Eliott: the scratches
Johnny: what scratches
Eliott: not funny

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Written by jonewantsm3

March 20, 2012 at 3:30 am

Posted in Rant

2 Responses

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  1. what scratches?

    Daniel J. Huang

    March 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

  2. you are so bad…

    kel

    April 22, 2012 at 4:11 pm


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