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In-N-Out vs Five Guys

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About a year ago, my friend who moved out from the Midwest got excited because they discovered a Five Guys burger joint in San Diego. They said that Five Guys was the best burger joint in the world and my obvious answer being a So-Californian was, “Better? Even better than In-N-Out?”

Their answer, “Yes.”

Wow. A burger that is better than In-N-Out. While I am not a snob that goes around petitioning and fighting for the goodness or reputation of In-N-Out… I am a very realistic person. If a place is better than In-N-Out, then I guess it’s better than In-N-Out, but In-N-Out is very very hard to beat in terms of taste and price. Even when I visit Seattle a few years back, a group of friends told me that they have a burger joint that rivaled In-N-Out called Dick’s Drive-In. I tried it. Garbage.

Anyway, when I heard this week on the radio that Five Guys narrowly beat out In-N-Out in a national taste test… I knew the time had come for me to try it. I also found a Five Guys near me in North County SD and made an appointment to grab lunch there on the weekend. Here are my thoughts:

1. Free peanuts while you wait for your food to get made? Good if you like peanuts I guess. I really don’t care for peanuts when I’m eating burgers and fries. It reminds me of the Original Roadhouse Grill where you can throw your unwanted peanut disposables onto the ground when you’re done with them. Oh wait, you can’t do that at Five Guys.

2. Hmm. The design looks suspiciously like In-N-Out. And I know In-N-Out came first…

3. They sell hotdogs too…I wonder if anybody even buys them.

4. Wow, they really like to advertise how everybody likes them. There are posted reviews and quotes on every single wall space available. Lame.

I guess I did not stand around too long and went ahead and purchased everything I would normally at an In-N-Out. Double double (Cheeseburger), animal style (everything and grilled onions and mushrooms minus the mayo), fries, and a drink. The cost? Just over twelve dollars. Holy crap. Yea you read that right. Twelve friggin dollars. This is way more expensive than the crap I pay for when I feel like getting ripped off at The Counter…which is a horrible burger place. Anyway, I paid and sat down contemplating how amazing this meal must be because twelve dollars is a heck of a lot of coin to drop on a burger meal. The previous week I got two double doubles animal style, fries well done and a neapolitan shake at In-N-Out for the same price.

Anyway, I got the meal and ate it. Here are my findings:

1. The fries are damn good. I actually liked them more than In-N-Out and they’re seasoned really well.

2. The burger comes looking like a ball wrapped in foil and is slightly bigger than an In-N-Out double double. It’s a big filling burger.

3. The meal was definitely not worth more than $12.

4. Best tasting burger? Debatable.

My conclusion? I will continue eating at In-N-Out and I will probably never go back to Five Guys. Their burgers are good but very similar to In-N-Out. Who’s better? Dude, it’s about the same in taste…it’s ridiculous to me when people claim that something is way better than it really is when in reality, they’re comparable.  It reminds me of another popular food trend back in the early 2000’s…see idiots who were sucked in by the Krispy Kreme Donut craze. The sesame buns are pretty lame and kind of suck though (did they run next door to vons?) I’ll give it to them though that this is a tasty burger and the fries are extremely good. But no way can someone make a real claim that In-N-Out is better than Five Guys and vice versa…they’re just both really good burgers. So why will I never eat at Five Guys again?

The price.

People must be idiots to pay $12 for a burger, fries and a drink when they can get it for $8 at In-N-Out.

Oh wait, people are idiots sometimes and will pay more so they can post on facebusiness that they ate there and/or take a twit pic and be like, “yo check me out, I’m getting ripped off at Five Guys but that’s the new and cool place to eat at so I’m okay with it because people will notice that I’m hip!”

Obviously, I’m not cool or hip because real life cool people never use the word: hip.

And I’ve been eating way too many burgers and burritos lately so I’ll see you at the gym.

To see the full Pulp Fiction burger scene…just click play:


Written by jonewantsm3

September 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Posted in Reviews

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