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Memory Lane

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This past weekend, I was cleaning up some old pictures on an external hard drive and I found some interesting shots. I do not like revealing my dark and secretive past, but for the sake of this bliggity blog… I will. Here’s what I found.

Memory #1:
Back in high school, we went to La Jolla Shores beach a lot. One summer day, my group of friends told me to get there at 7am to reserve a fire pit and that they would show up at 9am and hang out the rest of the day. Being the smart guy I was, I quickly realized at 10am that I got tricked into reserving the spot when none of them were picking up their phones. Then I started digging.

I dug a hole 4 feet deep and strung kelp across and then put paper grocery bags on top then covered it with sand. I even put a pair of flip flops right on top of the trap to trick someone. When the lifeguard came by and asked why I was digging such a big, deep hole…I replied that I was making a sand castle moat. Then when I was finished, I waited for my friends while sipping my water in evil anticipation. Yes, someone did fall in. No, Jessica I am not sorry.

Memory #2:
One of my spring breaks during college was to fly back to Taiwan to hang out with my dad for a week on a business trip. His business associates treated us to a posh restaurant ($400 dinner per person!), showed us some great night markets and…also dropped me and my dad off at a wax museum. WTF? I took this picture of a little goat:

Johnny Sideburns: Uh.. dad what the heck are we doing here?
Dad: This is a cultural experience.
JS: Dad, there’s nothing cultural about a wax goat…
Dad: What? C’mon…
JS: Man this place is creeping the heck out of me…
Dad: I know. Me too.
JS: Let’s get out of here.
Dad: Okay.

It was awesome that a couple of friends were going back as well and we decided to meet up. We walked around the Taipei night market like this:

Please ignore the copious amounts of women in bras pictures directly behind us…and the creep shopping there.

Memory #3:
My roommate at UCLA wakes me up one morning at around 6am and says, “Hey Johnny, wake up. And DON’T be mad…”

I’m thinking what the heck is going on. This is going to be bad. And it was. The previous night, some drunk chick dropped her beer bottle from the third floor directly onto my car’s glass sun roof.

Woohoo! College apartment living is always exciting!

Memory #4:
When I was coaching lacrosse in England, I had the daytime job of a traveling PE teacher. One day I made two monkey cave children sit out because well, they were being little monkey cave children. The next day I went back and received two of the best letters I have ever received.

I took the letters and read them. Then I turned towards Connor and say, “Thanks for the letters. I forgive you. But I don’t forgive you for spelling my name incorrectly. Get out of my face.”

Just kidding. I never forgave him.

Memory #5:
During my senior year at UCLA, our team flew to Texas to play a couple of lacrosse games. We decided to haze initiate the freshmen on the night before our flight back to LAX because half of them decided to go out and get hammered. As always, one of the upperclassmen always brings hair clippers and we dragged them out of bed one at a time to cut their hair at 3am. Here’s a couple of them asleep on the airplane back to LAX:

One of the freshmen had a nickname of goggles and I had the privilege to shave his head. I did a great job.

Memory #6
You may or may not have heard of this thing called Facebook. When it first started, I signed up and started making friends with everybody or the few people that had an account so far. One of my first friends was Matt Leinart. Yes, the Matt Leinart of the USC Trojans. Yes, the Matt Leinart of the Arizona Cardinals who is now with the Houston Texans. Yes, the Matt Leinart who I used to have poking wars with on Facebook. Poking wars!? Yes. Poking Wars.

I guess I poked too hard. We’re no longer friends on Facebook.


Written by jonewantsm3

July 11, 2011 at 1:00 am

Posted in Rant

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