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Tough Tuesday

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Tuesday was a tough day.

Earlier that day, I checked the Fill-A-Belly page on facebook to see what the dinner theme was going to be this week. Meatloaf. Mmm…delicious! As I finished work, I started driving home on my way to the dinner when something inside me just didn’t feel quite right. Should I go tonight? I’m pretty exhausted. Should I go pick up stuff that they need? Maybe someone will pick it up and I can just show up. Or I can go home. I’m pretty friggin tired today. But what if they need the stuff really badly? I haven’t been in a couple weeks, maybe I should stop by. Maybe I’ll pick up some food handling gloves and water and iced tea mix. I can pick it up next week, I”m just going to go home. Man I’m exhausted. Okay, I’ll just go home.

As I was maybe a quarter mile from the store, I was suddenly overcome with a feeling of… oh what the heck, I’ll just pick up the stuff and go tonight! I get off the freeway, pick up a case of water bottles, and a couple of items that I never pick up…some iced tea mix and a box of food handling gloves. Afterward, I drive to the park where we meet and something definitely seemed strange.

Well, I learned that a couple nights ago, one of the homies died during the night. General belief was that it was alcohol related but whatever the reason, it certainly had an impact on a lot of the people…both homies and volunteers. I did not talk to the guy too much while he was here, but I know that he was with the group from the beginning when it started up. Really sad news for everybody. I volunteered to pray for the food, and it was hard. So many things were racing through my mind. I wanted to make sure the homies knew that even though things like this happen to us, God is still a good God. I wanted to make sure that they knew that news like this hurts for us as well. I wanted to make sure that they knew if anything happens, there are a few volunteer/organizers that they can call for assistance and help. But whatever the issue, whatever the circumstances, I really hoped they knew that they have warm food and people who genuinely care and worry about their well-being here in this group.

Then later that night, I was catching up with Paul, one of the homies I haven’t seen in a while and Morgan approaches me regarding another homie who needed a motel room for the night. I knew David but never really talked to him too much in the past. This guy was scheduled to have surgery to remove some tumors last week but the procedure was rescheduled when he showed up for the surgery. When I talked to him, I could tell that he was pretty frightened about the whole situation, especially since he prepared himself for it last week and then they made last second changes. Tonight, he was in a lot of pain and on top of that, he had the stomach flu and that’s definitely not a great situation in terms of bodily fluids leaving the body. He showed me the tumor located above his chest near his shoulder and it was like someone inserted a baseball under his skin! I couldn’t believe that he was living with this for the longest time and didn’t have the means to go to the doctor until now. What sad stuff…the guy is such a humble dude and basically went to Morgan asking if he could somehow get a motel room for the night to stay warm so he could fight the stomach flu. That’s why Morgan approached me and asked if I could take him to one nearby and help pay for his board. I gladly accepted and we prayed for David multiple times and I gave him my number to call me in case anything happened.

Pretty tough Tuesday. Losing a homie and hearing about David’s situation. But there were good things as well.

As I mentioned earlier, I had a last second change of heart and decided to stop by the store and grab some items for the group. When I showed up to the group on Tuesday with the gloves and the iced tea mix, I found out that we had just run out of gloves and drink mix the previous week. A couple of the volunteers went to a few stores earlier that day and for whatever reason could not find any food handling gloves or any drink mix at the stores… which seems odd to me because those items aren’t really in high demand all the time. What perfect timing.

There are a couple of things that I observed on Tuesday:

1. God is purposeful in our lives.
The struggle I had in the car regarding my decision to go to the group this week was mostly related to my purpose in the group. Was I just some volunteer that does this to feel good about myself? Was I really making a difference in these guys’ lives? And I can’t pinpoint it now, but something switched in my mind to make me decide to go at the last second. And ten minutes after praying for the food…and after thinking to myself, man…I wish there was some kind of way I could help these guys even more, Morgan approached me with David’s situation. How rad is that? The idea that I should skip this week seemed very appealing but somehow, I ended up going and somehow I was able to help David out. Everything that happened that night seemed extremely purposeful, there’s no other way to explain it.

2. God is sovereign.
I got a text message the next day regarding my gloves and iced tea purchases. The timing of it all was all too perfect. Even little things like wearing gloves when we handle the food goes a long way in telling people you care for them because you want to keep everything as clean and sanitary as possible. And as I mentioned above, I have never purchased those items before and I have no idea why I thought to buy those things that day but I can say that it definitely was not accidental. In fact, around lunch time I remember thinking to myself, are they okay with gloves? Maybe I should buy them another box. Having extra gloves never hurt. I’m glad that I didn’t skip out this week.

Anyway, there was a lot of stuff to process for me that night. It was pretty tough Tuesday but still a lot of good stuff happened as well.


Written by jonewantsm3

June 23, 2011 at 1:00 am

Posted in 100 Things, Rant

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