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Conversations With Mother

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Right after the Johnny Armani post, my mom decided to head back on another two month vacation to Taiwan. And last night, I received a call from my mom.

It was weird.

We jump to mid-conversation:

JS: This time please don’t bring me anything back. I really appreciate it but I don’t need anything.
Mom: Not even for your birthday?
JS: My birthday?
Mom: Yes, your birthday is coming up!
JS: Oh yeah, I guess it’s coming up soon…
Mom: We are planning on returning mid June just in time for your birthday!
JS: Sweet. We can just go grab dinner. I don’t need gifts. Is dad coming back this time too?
Mom: Yeah, we’ll be home to celebrate your birthday and then we’ll be going to Canada for a while.
JS: Canada? Why Canada?
Mom: Dad has a meeting in Montreal. Do you want to go?
JS: Canada? Heck no…
Mom: Okay why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?
JS: …wait what?
Mom: You need to find a girlfriend!
JS: hahahaha
Mom: ((sigh))
JS: hahahaha why are you sighing at me? hahahaha
Mom: This is not funny. Do you hang out with girls?
JS: hahahaha
Mom: Why don’t you want to find a girlfriend?
JS: hahahaha
Mom: I thought you hang out with nice girls all the time…
JS: I do hang out with girls and yes, they’re nice
Mom: So just pick one!
JS: What in the world is going on!? I thought we were talking about Canada hahaha
Mom: Yes but this is important too. She needs to be really really pretty.
JS: hahahaha
Mom: I’m not kidding she needs to be pretty!
JS: I’m obviously not going to go find an ugly girl mom don’t worry…
Mom: And she can’t be weird.
JS: hahahaha I don’t even know what you’re trying to imply there…
Mom: Oh Oh! She has to be Christian and go to church and stuff like that because that’s the most important thing in the world!
JS: Of course mom. Don’t worry hahaha…
Mom: And don’t find a short one either
JS: hahahaha I can’t take this anymore… what’s going on with you hahaha
Mom: Short girls are not cute.
JS: hahahahahahahahaha I can’t take it anymore! I can’t breathe…
Mom: Aiyo
JS: Dude what is going on? Where is dad? He needs to supervise this conversation…it’s getting out of hand…
Mom: He’s at a meeting right now but seriously, don’t find a short girlfriend. She needs to be really tall.
JS: Really really tall?
Mom: Well, just not short. Short girls aren’t pretty.
JS: hahahahahahahahaha

At this point I am laughing so hard that I can barely hear my mom anymore. I was literally laughing at laughing with my mom for five minutes straight.

I’ve got to ask my dad what on earth is going on…these conversations are starting to get a little too weird.

Written by jonewantsm3

May 24, 2011 at 1:00 am

Posted in Rant

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