Read this stuff. It's good for you.

But seriously, it's good for you.

Thanksgiving Robot Invasion

leave a comment »

Last night I had another dream. I woke up today on Thanksgiving being super thankful that it was not real.

It starts off that I’m at some kind of fair or amusement park. The time is around 11:30am and the sun is directly overhead. Is this significant?..maybe. Maybe not.

I remember being with a bunch of friends, relatives and my dog Morgan. Yes, for some reason this amusement park allowed for dogs to tag along their owners. The amusement park was more like a real park, there were trees, canals, side walkways but it definitely had the characteristics of an amusement park such as steel and wood railings on the side of walkways and snack vendors and costumed people walking around. We were having a good time and decided to check out the new attraction that opened on Thanksgiving at noon so we made our way over. We got to the end of the line and there were tons of people in line already. We were at the edge of a canal looking down at another walkway. The line ran along the right side of the canal and about one hundred feet in front there was a tunnel and where the entrance was… hmm sounds confusing so I’ll do an illustration.

Okay I’m back. I drew an illustration on MS Paint so you can follow my dream easier:

So there we were standing in line waiting for the ride to open for the very first time with a great view of the entrance. Then 12:00PM rolled around…and nothing happened…at first. Everybody was just staring into the dark tunnel. Was there an operator? Was there going to be an announcement? Then all of a sudden, ninjas start marching out.

Yes, I repeat. Ninjas started marching out of the tunnel. I’m not talking about a handful of ninjas, I’m talking like communist waves of ninjas. I was very confused because ninjas do not normally march… (opposed to being confused that there were 23423480821 ninjas emerging from the tunnel). Everybody seemed excited and some where cheering, some where clapping and some people felt super uneasy and were looking at each other. I stood there looking down at them as they flooded out and passed below us when it dawned on me that these were not ordinary ninjas. They were robots!

Then my mind figured out what was happening. They were robots disguised as ninjas and were invading earth on Thanksgiving and they were about to attack us! Nobody suspected anything nor had a clue of their evil intentions except for me. I am such a smart guy in my own dream. I immediately called for Morgan and started running the opposite direction. As I look back, they activated to “kill and destroy” and started slaughtering everybody in line. Gross! Body parts were flying everywhere! I ran full speed away with Morgan at my heels trying to get to the entrance and into my car to drive away or at least that was the plan. In the dream I remember people running towards the massacre because they were curious to what was happening. Idiots. I tried to help. As I ran on I kept screaming, “the robot ninjas are attacking us! Run for your lives!” But nobody listened.

I forgot that yelling something like that in public would lead people to think you were crazy instead of telling the truth. Whatever. They died.

I finally got to the entrance and screamed in frustration. The ninjas were smart and a few of them made their way into the parking lot and were smashing and lighting cars on fire, cutting brake lines and killing people who were riding the tram to the entrance. Crap! What do I do now? I started running for the river on the West side of the park remembering that there was an alternative exit via a bridge across the river…but when I got there, the ninjas were already on the bridge killing people who were trying to escape. I instantly dove into the river with Morgan following right after me. I figured the robots would short circuit and malfunction if they tried to jump into the water to follow me but I was wrong.

I swam about fifty feet when I heard two splashes behind me. Dang it! These robots can swim in water! I paddled harder and yelled for Morgan to hurry up. Fortunately for us though, ninjas are crappy swimmers. I mean, they were doing the breast stroke to try to catch up to us. As I got to the other side, Morgan was still swimming but the ninjas were closing in on her. I stood on the embankment panicking that they would catch her and kill her before she got out. I started picking up rocks and throwing them at the ninjas which turned out to be a worthless effort because I missed every single throw…

She made it! As Morgan reached the shore, she did as all stupid dogs do as they exit water. She stopped and took the time to shake off her wetness before doing anything else. This was the exact delay the ninjas needed as they were already on their feet running full speed at us. I decided that I needed to take a stand and fight off the two robot ninjas that followed. I picked up a melon sized rock and ran full speed at the first one. As he tried to pull out his sword I smashed his head and he fell unconscious to the ground (haha… as I am typing this I realize how crazy I must sound to whoever is reading this. This is such a horrible dream and an even dumber post…) The second one ran straight into me and tackled me to the ground. We immediately grab each others neck and start squeezing when I realized that he’s a robot and I can’t choke him out. Strangling this robot is completely useless! Morgan jumped right in and bit him in the legs. He started kicking her and with the split second that he was distracted, I rolled around and put him in a head lock from behind. All three of us were rolling along the ground. Morgan was chewing the crap out of his legs and the ninja was getting frustrated. He finally landed a kick on her face and Morgan backed down…Then anger, hate, rage and anger consume me…nobody kicks my dog!

…So I bit into his neck.

Then I woke up.

It was Thanksgiving morning. Morgan was outside my window barking to wake me up to play with her.

Oh man. You have no idea how thankful I was right then.

I’m such an idiot.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Advertisements

Written by jonewantsm3

November 25, 2010 at 11:03 pm

Posted in Rant

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: